How to explain your framework in the DMs without talking over their heads
Stop losing leads because you sound too smart (simplify, without dumbing down)
You hit send on message #3 in your DM sequence.
“Hey Sarah! Just following up on my last message about the R.E.A.C.H. Method I mentioned.
To clarify - R stands for Recognize patterns in your business, E is Engage authentically with your audience, A means Align your messaging with their pain points, C is Create systems that scale, and H is Handle objections with confidence.
Does that make sense?
Happy to break down each step in more detail if you’d like to see how it applies to your situation!”
You read it back.
It sounds helpful. Thorough.
Three days later… still nothing. Not even “seen.”
Your framework didn’t lose her.
Your 200-word explanation of your framework in a DM lost her.
Today I’m sharing the 3 deadly mistakes that turn your brilliant framework into a conversation killer… and what to do instead:
• Why expert language makes you sound smart but kills understanding
• How solving their problem in the DMs eliminates the reason to book
• Why explaining your thinking process makes them work harder than just asking
Let’s fix your framework before it costs you another lead...
🚫 3 Deadly Framework Mistakes That Kill DM Conversations
Most coaches build solid frameworks, but use them in ways that kill DM conversations, instead of guiding them.
1️⃣ Mistake #1: You’re Speaking Expert Language Only Other Coaches Understand
You’re scrolling through your sent DMs at 11:45 PM.
You notice every conversation that died has the same pattern.
Message from you:
“I help optimize conversion architecture through strategic funnel sequencing and attribution modeling to improve your LTV while reducing CAC.”
No response.
Another message:
“My approach focuses on omnichannel messaging integration with progressive disclosure sequencing to maximize pipeline velocity.”
Crickets.
You use these words in every Zoom call with other coaches. They flow naturally. Everyone nods. You feel confident saying them.
That confidence is your warning sign.
The more comfortable the language feels coming out of your mouth, the more likely you’re speaking a language your prospect doesn’t understand.
You’re in the clouds talking to other people in the clouds.
But your prospect is still on the ground.
❌ Before: “I specialize in demand generation optimization through conversion pathway architecture and strategic touchpoint sequencing that drives qualified pipeline development.”
✅ After: “You mentioned your posts get tons of engagement but the DMs never turn into calls. What usually happens in those conversations?”
Here’s how to escape expert language:
1️⃣ Apply the Comfort Test: If you feel completely natural saying it, you’re probably using industry language. Ask yourself: “Would I say this exact sentence to someone who’s never been in my industry?” If no, simplify.
2️⃣ Use the 4th Grade Rule: Paste your message into ChatGPT and ask it to rewrite at a fourth-grade reading level. If the rewrite makes you uncomfortable to send, that discomfort is your signal you were speaking too high.
3️⃣ Follow the Translation Principle: Every time you’re about to use industry shorthand (funnel, LTV, CAC, conversion rate, pipeline), stop. Find the plain words someone uses when describing the problem to their friend.
Instead of using terminology that works in expert meetings, you spoke in words your prospect actually thinks in.
2️⃣ Mistake #2: You’re Solving Their Problem Before They Book the Call
It’s 9 PM. You’re writing message #3 to a lead who’s been responsive.
You type out the full diagnosis:
“So here’s what’s happening… your opening messages lack urgency, you’re waiting too long to follow up, and you’re not creating a clear next step.
Here’s exactly what to fix: First, start your DMs with a specific observation about their content instead of a generic compliment.
Second, follow up within 4 hours instead of waiting a full day. Third, end every message with a question that has only 2-3 possible answers. Try that and let me know how it goes!”
You hit send feeling helpful. Generous. Like you just proved your expertise.
She responds: “Thanks! I’ll try that.”
She never books. And why would she?
You just handed her the entire solution.
❌ Before: “I can see 3 issues: your messaging lacks specificity, your timing is off, and you’re not creating clear next steps.
Here’s how to fix each one: [detailed breakdown with examples and implementation steps].”
✅ After: “Based on what you shared, sounds like something’s breaking down between getting engagement and starting actual conversations.
I’ve got some thoughts on what might be causing that. Want to jump on a quick call this week to walk through it?”
Here’s how to create curiosity instead of giving everything away:
1️⃣ Use the Diagnosis-Only Rule: You can tell them WHAT you notice. You cannot tell them HOW to fix it.
“Sounds like the issue is happening in your opening message” is fine.
“Here’s the exact opening message to use instead” kills the call.
2️⃣ Apply the Teaser Principle: Share just enough insight to prove you understand the problem, but stop right before the implementation.
3️⃣ Follow the Call-Bridge Framework: Every insight you share should naturally lead to “and that’s exactly what we’d map out on a call” not “and here’s how to do it yourself right now.”
Instead of proving your expertise by solving everything in the DMs, you proved it by showing you understood… then created a reason to continue the conversation.
3️⃣ Mistake #3: You’re Making Them Follow Your Thinking Process Instead of Just Asking
You’re reviewing a DM conversation that stalled at message #4.
Your message:
“So let me break down my diagnostic process here.
First, I need to understand your current conversion baseline, which requires mapping your existing message flow from initial contact through call booking.
Then I assess friction points by analyzing response patterns across your last 20 conversations.
After that, I compare your approach against the behavioral psychology principles that drive engagement.
Once I have that full picture, I can identify the specific leverage points in your sequence.
Make sense?
So starting with step one… can you walk me through your typical message flow?”
She never responded.
You thought you were being thorough.
But you made her work through your entire methodology just to answer what should’ve been a simple question.
Your framework guides YOUR thinking. Not HER understanding.
❌ Before: “Before I can help, I need to run through my assessment framework.
There are four components: current state analysis, gap identification, solution mapping, and implementation planning.
For the current state analysis piece, I’ll need you to document your last 10 DM conversations including...”
✅ After: “Quick question… when someone engages with your content, what’s the first message you usually send them?”
Here’s how to guide without explaining:
1️⃣ Skip the Process Announcement: Your framework tells you what to ask. Just ask it. Don’t announce “Now I’m entering the discovery phase of my methodology.” Just ask discovery questions.
2️⃣ Use the Invisible Structure Method: The best frameworks are ones they experience without seeing. They should feel naturally guided through a conversation… not walked through numbered steps.
3️⃣ Apply the One-Question Rule: If you’re tempted to explain your diagnostic process, stop. Ask one simple question instead. Your framework operates behind the scenes… they just experience good questions.
Instead of requiring her to understand your thinking process, you asked simple questions guided by a framework she never saw.
TL;DR
Your framework works. Your expertise is real. But…
→ Using expert language makes you incomprehensible.
→ Giving away the solution removes the reason to book.
→ Explaining your process creates work instead of flow.
Your framework should guide invisibly.
The best conversations happen when prospects DON’T see your framework.
But rather feel understood, curious, and naturally guided toward booking.
That’s it.
Here’s what you learned today:
→ Comfortable language = expert language = confusion
→ Diagnosis creates curiosity, solutions kill it
→ Frameworks guide your questions, not their understanding
Your prospects aren’t looking for methodology explanations or free consulting.
They’re looking for someone who understands their problem, speaks in words they use, and makes them curious about what you see that they don’t.
Find your last DM where you gave away the solution.
Rewrite it to share WHAT you notice, not HOW you fix it.
When you speak over their heads… prospects disengage.
Today’s paid member mega-prompt helps you audit your current DM sequence and fix all three mistakes.
Paid members get:
✔ Complete DM Audit of your last 3 conversations
→ Every expert term killing your response rates
→ Every place you gave away the solution instead of creating curiosity
→ Every time you explained your process instead of just asking
✔ Rewritten versions that fix all three mistakes
✔ Simple language translations for your most-used industry terms
✔ Question templates that guide without explaining your methodology