How to follow up with long-term leads in the DMs... without being annoying
Why your slowest leads become your best clients (and how to stay top-of-mind)
You’re looking at the DM timestamp.
11 months ago.
That’s how long it’s been since she first said, “This sounds amazing, but I’m not ready yet.”
You’ve checked in 4 times since then. Maybe five. You’ve lost count.
Each time:
polite.
warm.
interested.
But never ready.
Tonight, you’re drafting yet another follow-up message.
Your thumb hovers over “send.”
What if this is the time she finally says ‘leave me alone’?
What if I’m just annoying her at this point?
You delete the draft. Again.
The next morning, you see it… someone else posted a testimonial from her.
She just paid $15K for a coaching package.
You’re not bad at sales, but your follow-up could use some work
Today, we’re sharing the 3 simple changes that transform your nurture game from “awkward check-ins” into inevitable closes.
Why slow leads become your highest-paying clients (and fast ones rarely do)
The exact timeline that keeps you present without being pushy
How to follow up based on their readiness, not your anxiety
Let’s fix your follow-up strategy...
THE 3 CHANGES THAT TURN SLOW LEADS INTO HIGH-TICKET CLIENTS
Most coaches focus so much on speed-to-close that they forget what actually builds trust and commitment.
Here’s what actually gets the best clients:
1️⃣ Stop Measuring Success by Speed - Start Measuring It by Readiness
You’re scrolling through your CRM at midnight.
Every lead tagged “not right now” feels like a failure.
Your business coach keeps talking about “sales velocity” and “days-to-close.”
You look at that 11-month-old inquiry and think, I should just archive this.
Instead of treating slow timelines as red flags, start tracking them as green flags for serious buyers:
❌ Before: “She said not ready 3 weeks ago… probably never booking. Time to move on.”
✅ After: “She said timing isn’t right due to Q4 work chaos. Following up in January with case study of client in similar industry.”
Here’s how to shift your timeline mindset:
1️⃣ Tag by Delay Reason, Not Days Passed:
Create categories:
🔹 Budget (3-6 months)
🔹 Timing (life transition)
🔹 Confidence (needs proof)
🔹 Decision-Maker (spouse approval).
Each gets different nurture flows.
2️⃣ Track Quality Signals, Not Just Speed:
🔹 Are they asking thoughtful questions?
🔹 Opening your messages?
🔹 Engaging with content?
These matter more than how fast they say yes.
3️⃣ Build a 12-Month Calendar: Map 4-6 strategic touchpoints.
🔹 Month 1: acknowledge their timeline.
🔹 Month 3: share relevant win.
🔹 Month 6: send resource addressing their objection.
🔹 Month 9: soft re-invitation.
Instead of treating long nurtures like “maybe leads,” you started treating them like “inevitable clients who just need time.”
2️⃣ Stop Following Up Based on Your Anxiety - Start Following Up Based on Their Timeline
It’s the 15th of the month. Rent is due. You need two more clients this month.
You open your DMs and start typing to everyone who said “not right now” in the past 90 days.
Same message. Different names.
You hit send on all of them before you lose your nerve.
Three people leave you on read. One unsubscribes. Zero book calls.
Your energy screamed: “Please be ready because I need the money.”
❌ Before: Reaching out when you’re desperate, with generic “just checking in” messages that add zero value and feel like thinly veiled sales pitches.
✅ After: “Hey Sarah! I was putting together a case study on corporate consultants who transitioned to coaching and thought of our conversation 6 months ago. Would love to send it your way if helpful… no pressure either way!”
Actionable Implementation:
Create Trigger-Based Follow-Ups: Set calendar reminders based on THEIR timeline, not yours. “Budget” leads get contacted in their saving month. “Timing” leads get reached out to after their stated transition date.
Lead with Value, Not Availability: Every touchpoint should deliver something useful. Free training. Relevant case study. Article that addresses their concern. Never reach out empty-handed.
Use Permission-Based Language: “If timing still isn’t right, totally understand.” This removes pressure and makes them more likely to stay engaged long-term.
Your close rate on 6+ month nurtures can triple simply because you stopped treating leads like ATMs and started treating them like humans with real constraints.
3️⃣ Stop Fearing You’re Bothering Them - Start Knowing You’re Serving Them
It’s been 4 months since she said “not right now.”
You’ve typed and deleted the same follow-up message 6 times this week.
What if she thinks you’re desperate?
What if she forgot about you and this reminds her she still hasn’t figured out her business?
What if she already hired someone else?
You close the DMs without sending anything.
Two weeks later, she posts about finally hiring a coach.
Someone who “just reached out at the perfect time.”
That someone had the exact same doubts you did.
They just had a system that overrode the fear.
❌ Before: “I haven’t heard from her in 5 months. She’s probably moved on. I don’t want to be annoying. Better to just let it go.”
✅ After: “Hey Jessica! I know it’s been a while, but I was reviewing my notes from our call back in April and realized I never sent you that resource on scaling without ads. Attaching it here in case it’s still relevant. Hope things are going well!”
Actionable Implementation:
Reframe “Bothering” as “Serving”: If you’re adding value, you’re not bothering them. Would YOU be annoyed if someone sent you something genuinely helpful? No. Neither are they.
Follow the Calendar, Not the Fear: Set your follow-up schedule and stick to it regardless of how you feel that day. Treat it like any other business task, not an emotional decision.
Give Them an Easy Out: Always include: “If this isn’t helpful or timing isn’t right, no worries at all… just wanted to stay in touch.” This removes guilt and keeps the door open.
When she finally said yes after 11 months, she told you: “You were the only coach who stayed in touch without making me feel guilty for not being ready sooner. I always knew when I was ready, you’d be there.”
She became one of your best clients. Got incredible results. Referred 3 people.
All because you didn’t rush her timeline - you respected it.
That’s it.
Here’s what you learned today:
→ Slow leads ask better questions, do more research, and commit harder - patience filters for quality buyers
→ Following up based on their timeline (not your revenue needs) transforms “maybe” leads into “inevitable” clients
→ If you’re adding value, you’re not bothering them; consistency with permission keeps you top-of-mind, without pressure
Your prospects are looking for a coach who understands that “not right now” doesn’t mean “not ever”.
Pull up your oldest “not right now” lead and send them something genuinely valuable today.
No pitch. Just value.
You’re not bad at sales, but your follow-up system could use some work.
When every nurture feels random (even when you care), prospects forget about you by the time they’re ready.
Today’s paid member mega-prompt helps you build a 12-month nurture timeline...without starting from scratch.
Paid members get:
✔ A complete 12-month nurture calendar based on your lead’s specific delay reason → Exact timing for 4-6 strategic touchpoints
→ What type of value to send at each stage
✔ 3 customizable message templates that feel helpful, not salesy
✔ Readiness signals framework so you know when to transition from nurture to invitation
• ChatGPT Version → Copy-paste friendly. Clean text format you can drop straight into ChatGPT.
• Claude Version → XML structured. Optimized for Claude (and other models that follow tags closely) so the output stays tight and consistent.
• Automation-Ready Version → JSON format. Built for builders who want to plug AI outputs into workflows like Zapier, n8n, Airtable, or APIs.