How to respond when prospects say "I was burned by a coach before"
What a nurse taught me about building trust with wounded prospects
Alex sat in the waiting room of her doctor's office, watching a woman across from her repeatedly check her phone and shift nervously in her seat. When the nurse called her name, the woman hesitated before standing up.
"I know this sounds silly," she said to the nurse, "but I had a really bad experience with a doctor last year. He didn't listen to me at all and prescribed something that made everything worse. I'm just... nervous about trusting someone new."
The nurse's response surprised Alex with its gentleness:
"That doesn't sound silly at all. Bad medical experiences can really shake your confidence. Dr. Martinez always starts by listening to your full story before making any recommendations. Would it help if I let her know you'd like extra time to share your concerns?"
The woman's entire posture relaxed. "Yes, that would actually help a lot. Thank you for understanding."
As Alex watched this interaction, her phone buzzed with a DM from a prospect named Sadie:
"Your content really resonates with me, but I have to be honest – I worked with a business coach last year and it was a disaster. She overpromised and underdelivered, and I ended up worse off than when I started. I'm interested in what you do, but I'm also terrified of making another expensive mistake."
Alex stared at the message, thinking about the nurse's response. Sadie wasn't just sharing information – she was revealing a wound that needed careful handling.
Why People Don't Trust You (And How to Fix It)
Later that day, Alex reviewed similar messages she'd received over the past six months. The pattern was striking:
Nearly 40% of her prospects mentioned bad experiences with previous coaches, consultants, or programs.
These weren't casual comments. They were vulnerable admissions that revealed deep fears about making another investment in their business growth.
Alex realized she'd been treating these disclosures like objections to overcome rather than trauma to acknowledge. Her typical response had been to differentiate herself:
"I'm so sorry you had that experience. My approach is completely different because..."
But watching the nurse's interaction showed her a better way. The most healing response wasn't to immediately explain how she was different – it was to create space for their experience and validate their caution.
The Holding Space Framework
Inspired by the nurse's approach, Alex started using my ‘Holding Space Framework’ for responding to prospects who've been burned before:
🔹 The Validation Bridge
Acknowledge their experience without trying to fix or minimize it.
Example: "Thank you for sharing that with me. Having a coach overpromise and underdeliver sounds incredibly frustrating and disappointing. It makes complete sense that you'd be cautious about trying again."
🔹 The Permission Statement
Give them explicit permission to be cautious and take their time.
Example: "Your hesitation isn't something to push through – it's wisdom based on experience. You should absolutely be careful about who you trust with your business and your investment."
🔹 The Curiosity Without Agenda
Ask about their experience to understand, not to position yourself as different.
Example: "What was it about that experience that felt most disappointing? Was it the results, the process, or something else entirely?"
🔹 The Safety Creation
Focus on creating emotional safety rather than logical differentiation.
Example: "Whatever you decide about working with anyone – me included – I hope you trust your instincts. They're clearly working to protect you from repeating a bad experience."
🔹 The No-Pressure Presence
Continue the conversation about their business challenges without pushing toward enrollment.
Example: "Regardless of coaching, what's been your biggest challenge since that difficult experience? Are you finding ways to move forward on your own, or feeling stuck?"
How to Handle Burned Prospects (Step-by-Step)
Handle prospects with previous bad experiences using these simple communication principles:
1️⃣ Step 1: Don't Immediately Explain How You're Different
Don't immediately explain how you're different from their previous experience. This minimizes their trauma and sounds defensive.
2️⃣ Step 2: Validate Their Protective Instincts
Acknowledge that their caution is appropriate and intelligent, not something to overcome.
3️⃣ Step 3: Ask About Their Experience
Show genuine curiosity about what happened without positioning yourself as the solution to their previous problem.
4️⃣ Step 4: Create Emotional Safety
Focus on making them feel heard and understood rather than trying to build confidence in your services.
5️⃣ Step 5: Remove All Pressure
Explicitly state that they should be cautious and take whatever time they need to feel confident about any future investments.
6️⃣ Step 6: Stay Present Without Agenda
Continue conversations about their business challenges without connecting those challenges to your program.
7️⃣ Step 7: Let Them Lead
Allow them to bring up the possibility of working together rather than guiding conversations toward enrollment.
How This Actually Works
Two months after implementing my ‘Holding Space Framework’, Alex received a message from Sadie that brought tears to her eyes:
"I wanted to thank you for how you handled my message about my bad coaching experience. You were the first person who didn't immediately try to convince me you were different. You just... listened. And then you kept checking in about my business challenges without ever trying to sell me anything.
Sadie's discovery call was unlike any Alex had experienced. Because trust had been built slowly over time, Sadie felt safe being completely honest about her fears, goals, and budget. The enrollment conversation felt natural and collaborative, rather than convincing.
The Results:
Sadie became one of Alex's most successful clients
Consistently implemented recommendations and achieved breakthrough results
Six months later, she referred three other business owners to Alex
"The difference between you and my previous coach," Sadie reflected, "wasn't your method or your price. It was that you understood I needed to feel safe before I could feel excited about growing my business again."
From Waiting Room to Breakthrough
Alex's approach helped her successfully enroll twelve prospects who'd mentioned previous bad experiences. But more importantly, it helped her build deeper, more trusting relationships with all her clients.
She learned that some prospects don't need better sales techniques – they need emotional safety and time to heal from previous disappointments.
When someone shares a wound, the first response shouldn't be to explain how you won't cause similar wounds. It should be to honor their experience and create space for healing.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is resist the urge to sell entirely and simply hold space for someone's pain.
Today’s Mega-Prompt: "Holding Space After a Bad Coaching Experience”
They said they’ve been burned before.
This isn’t the time to pitch… it’s the time to hold the door open.
Today’s prompt gives paid members a calm, human message they can send when a lead shares disappointment with a past coach or program. No defending. No pitching. Just safety and space.
Paid members get:
✔ A short, trust-first message that matches the lead’s emotional tone
✔ A quiet way to stay in the conversation without pressure
✔ A confident approach that rebuilds belief… without rushing the sale