How to spot a buyer in your DMs (so you stop wasting time on freebie seekers)

Alex's eyes flicked between two messages sitting in her inbox.

One was from Sarah, a follower who had been watching her content for months. She'd sent voice notes before, asked thoughtful questions, and even said, "I know I need this, I just have to figure out timing."

The other was from a new account… someone who had never engaged before but had just sent a DM:

"Hey! Your program looks great. Can you tell me more about how it works?"

Alex's fingers hovered over her keyboard.

If this had been last month, she wouldn't have thought twice.

She would have answered both messages.

Given each of them her full attention.

Poured her energy into showing why her program was the perfect fit.

But last month, she was burnt out.

She was spending hours in the DMs… and still closing fewer sales than coaches who barely responded.

Something had to change.

So instead of reacting on instinct, she made herself stop.

She took a deep breath.

Then, she asked herself the one question that had changed everything:

"Who is already sold… without realizing it?"

And suddenly, she saw the answer staring right back at her.

The DM Mistake That Kills Sales Before They Even Start

Alex used to believe that the best way to close more sales was to answer more questions.

If someone asked about pricing, she told them. If someone needed details, she sent them. If someone said they were thinking about it, she checked in.

But now?

Now she saw what was actually happening.

The followers who never bought had one thing in common:

🔹 They were in fact-gathering mode… not decision-making mode.
🔹 They needed to be convinced, which meant they weren't emotionally ready.
🔹 They asked how it worked instead of how to get started.

Meanwhile, the followers who did buy?

🔹 They had already made up their minds… they just hadn't realized it yet.
🔹 They weren't weighing options… they were waiting for permission.
🔹 They weren't looking for information… they were looking for confirmation.

And the biggest realization?

Buyers don't need persuasion. They need recognition.

The second someone is already leaning in, the sale is already happening.

Alex had just been too focused on the wrong people to see it.

How to Spot Who's Ready to Buy (Before You Waste Another Hour in the DMs)

Alex realized that not all DMs are equal.

She needed a way to instantly tell the difference between a curious follower and a ready buyer.

So she started using this 3-part filter to only respond to the right people.

1. Look for Decision Energy, Not Interest Energy

🚫 Freebie Seekers Say: "Hey, I love what you do! I'm thinking about signing up, but I just have a couple of questions first."

✅ Buyers Say: "I've been following you for a while, and I know I need to fix this. Do you think this program is the right fit for me?"

🔹 Why This Works: Buyers don't say, "I'm thinking about it." They say, "I need this."

2. Respond to Statements, Not Just Questions

🚫 Freebie Seekers Ask: "What do I get inside your program?"

✅ Buyers Say: "I know I need help with X. I just want to make sure I'm choosing the right program."

🔹 Why This Works: A real buyer is already in motion. They aren't asking, "Should I do this,” they're asking, "What's the best way forward?"

3. Shift the Frame From "Convincing" to "Confirming"

Most sales advice tells you to handle objections.

Alex realized that was completely backward.

Buyers don't need objection handling. They need identity reinforcement.

🚫 Before: "I totally get your hesitation! Here's why my program is worth the investment."

✅ After: "Based on what you're saying, it sounds like you already know this is the right step. What would stop you from going all in today?"

🔹 Why This Works: Instead of selling, you're mirroring what they already believe… so they convince themselves.

What Happened When Alex Stopped Responding to the Wrong DMs?

Instead of spending 6 hours a day answering messages, she started spending 90 minutes.

🚫 No more back-and-forths with people who weren't ready.
🚫 No more "interested" followers who never actually bought.
🚫 No more free coaching disguised as "just a quick question."

Instead…

✅ Her responses were shorter.
✅ Her close rate was higher.
✅ Her sales process felt effortless.

Because once she stopped treating every "interested" DM the same way…

She started closing sales faster… with less work.

Your Turn

This isn't just a concept… it's a system you can start using immediately.

The next time someone reaches out, don't just reply.

Pause. Assess. Apply this test before you respond.

Step 1: Identify Their Decision Stage

Before you type a single word, ask:

🔹 Are they already making the decision… or still gathering information?
🔹 Are they moving forward… or hesitating?
🔹 Are they leaning in… or asking you to pull them?

Your goal isn't to convince. It's to recognize where they are… and respond accordingly.

Step 2: Choose Your Response Based on Their Readiness

🚫 If they're still in "interest" mode:

Provide ONE valuable resource that directly addresses their question.

Follow up with a related question that moves the conversation forward.

Keep it brief and avoid turning it into a free coaching session.

Try this approach: "Based on what you're asking about, this [resource] might help. [Brief explanation of value].

By the way, what's your biggest challenge with [related topic]?"

Then circle back in 1-2 days with a new question that moves the conversation forward… don't ask if they consumed the resource (which can create a stall if they haven't).

✅ If they're already leaning in:

Ask strategic questions that naturally lead toward a call.

Frame questions to reveal gaps that your call can fill.

Create a conversation path where the call becomes the obvious next step.

Try this approach: "I hear you're looking to [achieve specific outcome]. What timeline are you working with to make this happen?"

Then: "Given what you've shared about [their situation], a quick strategy call would help us map out exactly how to [solve their specific problem]. Does that sound helpful?"

Step 3: Watch What Happens

When you implement this approach, you'll see immediate shifts:

🔹 Your conversations naturally progress toward meaningful outcomes.
🔹 You'll identify qualified prospects faster without wasting time.
🔹 Your sales process will feel more natural and less pushy.

So try this today.

Because anything you chase… will always run from you

Today’s Mega-Prompt: "Decision Energy Detector"

Is your lead ready to buy… or just collecting facts? This prompt shows you how to tell the difference instantly.

This mega-prompt gives paid members a practical diagnostic tool to decode emotional cues in DM conversations. Instead of wasting time on prospects who “need to think about it,” you’ll learn how to spot the exact moment someone’s ready to move forward… and what to say next.

Paid members get exclusive access to a mega-prompt that delivers:

✔ A simple scoring checklist to detect true decision energy
✔ Key phrase breakdowns that reveal readiness vs. resistance
✔ Tailored response strategies based on your prospect’s emotional state
✔ A proven method to prioritize real buyers and book more calls fast