If your DMs stall before objections show up... this is what’s really going on

Standing at the back of the room, name badge slightly crooked, Olivia watched hands shoot up around the conference room. She'd just finished her presentation on executive positioning strategies… content that always drew enthusiastic responses, but rarely translated to actual clients.

"That was exactly what I needed to hear," said a Chief Strategy Officer from a healthcare company. Others nodded in agreement as the panel moderator smiled approvingly.

Yet, Olivia knew the drill. The executives would file out, business cards would be exchanged, LinkedIn connections made. And then... crickets. The same old story: great engagement… followed by 0 enrollments.

During networking, Olivia found herself beside James, whose keynote had received a standing ovation. Unlike other speakers, his post-presentation conversations weren't just congratulatory… executives were practically begging to work with him.

"Your presentation was fantastic," she said, genuinely impressed. "I noticed something interesting about how people respond to you. What's your secret?"

James thought for a moment. "Can I tell you something most people don't know about me?"

He leaned in. "Ten years ago, I was fired as CMO of a huge company… very publicly. Industry blogs had a field day. My reputation was ruined overnight."

Olivia tried not to look shocked. James was now one of the most respected executive coaches in the industry.

"That story I shared today about the executive who rebuilt after a major setback? That was me, though I didn't spell it out. But the executives who need me most see themselves in that story. They recognize the gap between who they are now and who they want to become.”

On her flight home, Olivia pulled out her tablet and jotted down every significant professional shift she'd navigated. She noted where her identity had dramatically changed… from corporate employee to entrepreneur, from tactical marketer to strategic advisor, from unknown consultant to recognized expert.

Each transition contained a moment when who she knew herself to be no longer matched how others saw her... an identity gap that created tension until it was resolved through action.

The next week, Olivia rewrote her presentation. Instead of leading with credentials, she started with a story:

"5 years ago, I sat in a boardroom as the marketing person everyone turned to for campaign execution. I had the answers they wanted... until the CEO asked, 'What's our actual growth strategy for the next 3 years?' All eyes stayed fixed on the CFO, despite my having prepared a comprehensive analysis. In that moment, I realized there was a painful gap between how I saw myself… as a strategic leader… and how everyone else saw me… as just someone who executed tactics."

She continued, sharing how this identity gap led her to develop the ‘Executive Positioning Matrix’… the same framework she'd previously presented as an abstract methodology. This time, she positioned it not as some theoretical approach… but as the bridge she'd personally built to cross her own identity gap.

The response was immediate and different. After the presentation, executives didn't just compliment her content... they opened up about their own identity gaps:

"Everyone sees me as the operations guy, but I want to be recognized as a strategic thinker."

"The board still treats me like I'm the new kid, though I've been CEO for three years."

"My team respects my technical knowledge… but questions whether I can lead people."

These weren't just professional challenges… they were identity gaps that created real emotional discomfort. By revealing her own identity gap, Olivia had given them permission to acknowledge theirs.

Her program enrollment doubled that quarter. The transformation wasn't from ‘better’ marketing… but from recognizing a fundamental truth - people don't buy coaching primarily for skills or knowledge… they buy it to resolve the gap between who they are today, and who they want to become.

The Identity Bridge Framework: Finding Identity Gaps in Your DM Conversations

When someone responds to your content or lead magnet in the DMs, they're quietly sharing clues about an important internal struggle - the gap between their current identity and who they truly want to become.

The challenge? They rarely come out and say that directly. Instead, these clues appear in casual comments and seemingly insignificant statements. Your job in the DMs is to seamlessly bring this gap to the surface, helping them see it clearly.

Here's how to do it:

Step 1: Listen for the Hidden Signals

Watch for subtle phrases that reveal deeper dissatisfaction about how they're currently perceived:

• "I'm tired of just being seen as _____."

• "Everyone thinks of me as _____, but I wish they saw me more as _____."

These small hints often reveal a deeper, more powerful identity gap.

Step 2: Gently Clarify the Gap

Help your prospect articulate their struggle by reflecting back what you hear:

• "It sounds like there's a mismatch between how others see you and how you see yourself… am I getting that right?"

• "Tell me more about what you'd rather be known for."

This helps them define their identity gap more clearly.

Step 3: Explore the Emotional Stakes

Ask simple but powerful questions to uncover how this identity gap affects them:

• "How has feeling misunderstood or undervalued affected you personally?"

• "What's the hardest part about being stuck in this current role or perception?"

Making this emotional connection transforms the conversation from casual to meaningful.

Step 4: Reflect Their Ideal Identity

Mirror back the identity they aspire to with precision and empathy:

• "So ultimately, you want to move from being known as _____ to being recognized as _____, does that capture it?"

• "If people fully saw your potential as _____, what would that unlock for you?"

This validates and clarifies their vision.

Step 5: Offer a Natural Next Step

With the identity gap clearly articulated and emotionally resonant, moving to a deeper conversation feels authentic:

• "Would it help to chat briefly about ways to bridge this?"

• "I've been there myself. Want to jump on a quick call and talk about how you move past this?"

This gentle transition naturally moves conversations from messages to meaningful, deeper interactions.

Your Turn: Map Your Audience's Identity Gaps

To effectively use my Identity Bridge Framework, you need clarity about your audience's identity gaps. By segmenting your audience thoughtfully, you'll understand exactly who you're speaking to and what drives them.

Take some time and go through this exercise to segment your audience and map their top identity gaps:

1. Identify Your Top 3 Audience Segments

Write down your three core segments… distinct groups within your audience.

Example:

• Established coaches struggling to scale

• Consultants experiencing enrollment plateaus

• Experts stuck in operational roles wanting strategic recognition

2. Pinpoint Each Segment's Most Common Identity Gap

Define the most common gap each segment faces between their internal identity and external perception.

Examples:

• Established coaches: "Seen as friendly mentors, but desire recognition as premium strategic authorities."

• Consultants: "Known as idea generators, but wish they were respected as transformational leaders."

• Experts: "Viewed as detail-oriented doers, but aspire to be trusted as visionary decision-makers."

3. Identify the Core Emotional Frustrations

List emotional pain points driving each segment's identity gap.

Examples:

• Established coaches: Frustration at being undervalued despite proven results.

• Consultants: Impatience from being admired but rarely hired.

• Experts: Exhaustion from repeatedly being overlooked for higher-level opportunities.

By clarifying segments, gaps, and emotions, you set yourself up to naturally uncover these identity gaps in conversations… turning casual interactions into meaningful next steps.

When you master the skill of recognizing and reflecting identity gaps, your DM conversations become natural, authentic, and deeply effective… because you're addressing the real transformation people are seeking.

Today’s Mega-Prompt: "Identity Gap Mapper"

Your best clients don’t buy just because you solve their problems… they buy because you help them become the person they truly want to be. Today, you'll uncover exactly who that is.

This mega-prompt gives paid members a precise system to pinpoint hidden identity gaps in their audience… the disconnect between how clients see themselves internally and how others see them externally. Once you identify these gaps, every DM conversation becomes an opportunity to clarify their ideal identity… effortlessly to more sales calls.

Paid members get exclusive access to a prompt that delivers:

✔ A step-by-step guide to clearly segment your audience based on their identity gaps
✔ Simple yet powerful questions for uncovering identity gap struggles directly in DMs
✔ Proven message transitions to leverage that gap and book a sales call