Posting more won’t get your coaching offer filled... but these 5 emotions will
A loud buzz shattered the quiet of the coffee shop as Alex's phone vibrated against the wooden table.She glanced down at the notification:
"Your Instagram post is performing better than 95% of your recent content."
On her laptop screen sat her business dashboard, open to the quarterly revenue report she'd been reviewing before the notification interrupted her. The numbers on the spreadsheet told a different story than her Instagram analytics.
“Engagement up 32% this quarter,” she muttered to herself, then glanced at the revenue chart. Flat. Actually, down 3% from the previous quarter.
Alex took a sip of her now-cold coffee. She thought about the post that was currently going viral… a vulnerable story about her journey from agency employee to entrepreneur.
The comments section overflowed with praise:
"This is exactly what I needed to hear today."
"You put into words what I’ve been feeling for months."
Yet her DMs were dry as the Sahara.
Alex closed her laptop and signaled for the check. The coffee shop had filled with the lunch crowd… conversations and espresso machine hisses creating a backdrop to her thoughts. She'd come here to reset. To get out of her head.
Later that night, back at home, Alex opened her content dashboard and started scrolling through her top-performing posts.
Dozens of comments.
Plenty of praise.
Zero momentum.
She clicked into each one, post by post.
She remembered responding.
She remembered following up with thoughtful questions.
She even tried engaging a few of those commenters in the DMs.
But every time she did, the conversation died… or never started in the first place.
It wasn’t that her content wasn’t resonating.
It’s that it wasn ’t compelling people to take action.
The emotion was there… just not the kind that moves people from public comments to private DM conversations.
So instead of reviewing her DMs, Alex stayed focused on the source - the content itself…. and she started asking different questions:
Why did people stop at “thank you”?
What wasn’t I saying that would’ve made them want more?
Which posts created curiosity… and not just connection?
That’s when the pattern clicked.
The stories that created real momentum weren’t just emotional for emotion’s sake.
They triggered specific emotional states that made readers want to reach out.
Not just feel something.
But say something.
At 11:42 PM, she opened her notebook.
By 1 AM, she’d mapped out 5 emotional triggers missing from most of her best content.
The 5 Emotions That Consistently Drive Followers from Content to Your DMs
The bridge between public comments and private conversations isn’t about simply being more vulnerable. It’s about triggering emotional states that naturally lead someone to want to continue the conversation privately. Here are the 5 that do it consistently:
1. Authentic Recognition
When your story makes someone think, “This person sees parts of me that others don’t recognize,” they’ll want to spark a DM conversation with you.
Last Tuesday, I sat across from a potential client, nodding confidently as they described their needs. But inside, a voice kept whispering: ‘They’re going to realize you don’t have all the answers. They’ll see through you.’
Despite years of success, this gap between my external confidence and internal doubt never fully disappears.
The strangest part? The moments I finally admit this vulnerability to clients are precisely when they decide to trust me with their business.
This kind of internal honesty triggers recognition hunger… because it surfaces the thoughts people rarely say out loud, so they’ll often reach out to be understood further.
2. Relief Seeking
Validate the pain. Don’t fully resolve it. That gap creates a need to ask for the rest.
After my third consecutive launch generated plenty of excitement but minimal sales, I found myself questioning everything about my business model.
The disconnect between audience enthusiasm and actual purchases seemed impossible to bridge… until a mentor asked me one question about my content approach that revealed what was missing.
Fixing this one element transformed my next launch from a $3,000 disappointment into a $27,000 success.
This structure works because it validates the pain and hints at the fix… but doesn’t give it all away. That tension makes people want to reach out and ask for the missing piece.
3. Aspirational Connection
When your story reflects someone’s desired identity, they feel pulled toward you.
The moment I stopped seeing myself as someone who ‘helps businesses with marketing’ and started seeing myself as someone who ‘transforms how business owners connect with their audience’ changed everything.
This shift happened during a tough client call when I caught myself slipping into people-pleasing mode.
Instead of backpedaling, I paused and spoke from that new identity. The client interrupted me mid-sentence and said:
‘This is exactly what I’ve been looking for.’
People aren’t just drawn to what you do. they’re drawn to who you’ve become in the process, and how it mirrors who they want to become, too.
4. Belief Expansion
Break a belief. Show what’s possible. Let curiosity drive the rest.
I believed $20K months meant 60-hour weeks and nonstop content. Growth or balance… not both.
Then I shadowed a coach with half my following and double my revenue.
She worked four-hour days. Made $25K months.
She wasn’t working harder or even smarter… just differently.
The three principles she followed contradicted everything I thought I knew.
This kind of story triggers possibility… and possibility always leads to questions that feel too personal for a comment section, so people DM.
5. Vulnerability Reciprocity
The more open you are, the more others feel safe to match that energy.
Six months into what looked like a successful launch, I still had a document of job listings on my desktop.
Every night, I’d scroll through corporate roles, tempted to apply.
No one following my confident posts would’ve guessed I was questioning everything.
That tension between public wins and private fear? It nearly broke me… until I finally admitted it to a mentor and faced the root of my uncertainty.”
People are motivated to reply privately in the DMs because it’s the space that feels safe enough to match your level of truth with theirs.
Your Turn: Restructure Your Content to Trigger DMs
Here’s how to start using this in your own content today:
Audit Your Posts
Look at your top performers. What emotions are they triggering? Are they just appreciated, or are they pulling people to need to know more about you and your offer?Choose One Emotion
Pick one of the five emotional triggers and either build your next post around it -or- rewrite one of your top-performers.Add Real Detail
Include at least three sensory cues… what you saw, heard, felt etc… to ground the reader in the moment.Leave the Gap
Don’t answer everything. Curiosity is the bridge to DM conversations.Track Conversations, Not Likes
Measure the movement. How many people go from public comments to private DM conversations. That’s the real signal.
You think strong engagement means your content is working.
It doesn’t. At least... not on it's own.
The real power of content is in sparking the right emotions in your ICP. The kind that moves them from reading your post publicly… to sliding in your DMs privately.
Likes feel good. Comments are flattering. But DM conversations are what will actually move your business forward.
Today’s Mega-Prompt: "DM Magnet Content Rewriter"
You don’t need more posts. You need posts that make people feel something strong enough to message you.
This custom prompt helps paid members take good content and make it emotionally magnetic, so readers want to reach out without being told to. No fake urgency. No forced CTAs. Just raw, real connection that makes your inbox light up.
Paid members get exclusive access to:
✔ A breakdown of the 5 emotional triggers that drive private replies
✔ A step-by-step rewrite to amplify emotional connection and curiosity
✔ A scoring system to track DM potential and know what’s really working