She changed 4 words in her DMs... then booked 3 calls in 24 hrs
She didn’t pitch harder. She just stopped asking surface-level questions.
Alex burned her tongue on the first sip of coffee and nearly spilled it all over her white couch.
She'd been up since 5 AM trying to perfect her morning routine after watching a YouTube video about "how successful people start their day." The fancy pour-over coffee maker she'd splurged on last month was supposed to be life-changing, but so far it had only added 15 minutes to her already rushed mornings.
Today was especially important. She had three client calls back-to-back and needed caffeine. Bad.
But her fancy coffee ritual was taking forever. First, she had to heat the water to the "perfect temperature." Then she had to do the "bloom" thing where you pour a little water and wait 30 seconds. Then pour in circles. Then wait. Then pour more. All while staring at the kitchen timer like it might explode.
And after all that effort? The coffee tasted... fine. Just fine.
As she nursed her burned tongue, her phone pinged with a text from her friend: "Coffee tomorrow? The new place has $2 lattes before 9 AM!"
And right then, it hit her.
She'd been making coffee way harder than it needed to be. All because some coffee snob on YouTube made her feel like her regular coffee wasn't good enough.
Later that day, as Alex scrolled through her Instagram DMs, she noticed something familiar about how she talked to potential clients. She was making things complicated there too.
Her conversations usually went something like this:
Prospect: "I'm struggling to get clients from social media."
Alex: "What platforms are you using right now?"
Prospect: "Instagram mostly."
Alex: "How often are you posting?"
Prospect: "About twice a week."
Alex: "What kind of content performs best for you?"
Prospect: "Carousels get the most saves."
These were all good questions. But after a few back-and-forths like this, most conversations just... died. People stopped responding, even though they seemed interested at first. Just like with her coffee, Alex was stuck doing the same complex routine that wasn't giving her the results she wanted.
The problem? She was asking surface-level questions that didn't get to what people really cared about.
The Simple Question Ladder That Changes Everything
Instead of staying on the surface with fancy marketing talk, you need a simple set of questions that go deeper, step by step:
Step 1: Ask about FACTS
"What are you doing now?" (This is where most people stay stuck)
Example questions:
• "What platforms are you using right now?"
• "How often are you posting content?"
• "How many followers do you have?"
🔷 These questions get you basic information, but they don't create connection.
Step 2: Ask about PROCESS
"How exactly do you do it?" (This gets a little deeper)
Example questions:
• "How do you decide what content to create each week?"
• "What's your process for turning followers into clients?"
• "How do you come up with your content ideas?"
🔷 These questions reveal how they approach their business, which helps you spot problems.
Step 3: Ask about FEELINGS
"What's frustrating about this for you?" (Now we're getting somewhere)
Example questions:
• "What's the most frustrating part of content creation for you?"
• "How does it feel when you put in all this work but don't see results?"
• "What's the hardest part of this whole process for you?"
🔷 These questions tap into emotions, which is where real connection happens.
Step 4: Ask about DREAMS
"What do you really want to happen instead?" (This is where the gold is)
Example questions:
• "If this was all working perfectly, what would be different in your business?"
• "What would your ideal client attraction system look like if you could wave a magic wand?"
• "Beyond just more clients, what would solving this problem do for your life?"
🔷 These questions reveal their true motivations and desires, which is what actually drives buying decisions.
Most coaches never get past Step 1 or maybe Step 2. But the real connection – the stuff that makes people think "wow, this person really gets me" – happens at Steps 3 and 4.
The Science Behind Why This Works
Our brains process information in layers, kind of like an onion:
• The outer layer is FACTS – the logical, rational information we're comfortable sharing with strangers
• The next layer is PROCESS – how we do things, which reveals a bit more about our thinking
• Deeper is FEELINGS – our emotional responses, which we only share when we feel safe
• At the core is DREAMS – our hopes, aspirations, and identity, which we rarely share without trust
When you rush to ask deep questions before establishing trust, people's mental "safety alarm" goes off, and they ghost you. But when you gradually move through these layers in order, people feel understood in a way they rarely experience.
The 5-Minute Message Makeover (Do This Today)
Here's how to transform your DM conversations immediately:
Look at your most recent DM conversation that fizzled out
Find where you asked a FACT question ("What do you post?" "How many followers?" etc.)
Rewrite it as a PROCESS question ("How do you decide what to post?")
Add a FEELINGS question ("What's the most frustrating part of this for you?")
Finish with a DREAMS question ("What would be possible if this was solved?")
From Stuck to Flowing
After Alex ditched her complicated coffee routine for a simple French press (2 minutes total) and started using these simpler questions, everything changed.
Her mornings became less stressed, and her DM conversations started flowing naturally. People who previously disappeared after 2-3 messages were now sharing real challenges and aspirations.
Best of all, these deeper conversations led to more calls being booked, because people felt truly understood instead of just interrogated.
One conversation stood out: a prospect who had been lurking in her audience for months finally reached out after a post about client attraction. In the past, Alex would have jumped straight to asking about their business, platforms, and posting frequency.
Instead, she asked about their process: "How do you currently approach finding new clients? Walk me through your typical approach."
This led to a detailed response about their haphazard marketing efforts.
Then she asked about feelings: "That sounds exhausting. What's been the most frustrating part of this whole client-finding process for you?"
The floodgates opened. The prospect shared how defeated they felt after putting in so much effort with little return, and how it was affecting their confidence.
Finally, she asked about dreams: "If you had a client attraction system that worked reliably, what would that make possible for you and your business?"
The answer revealed what this person truly wanted – not just more clients, but the freedom to focus on the work they loved instead of constantly hustling for the next client, and the confidence that comes from knowing where your next paycheck is coming from.
Two messages later, they asked about booking a call.
Simple Beats Fancy Every Time
A month later, Alex found herself in the coffee shop with her friend, happily sipping a $2 latte.
"Remember when you were obsessed with that pour-over thing?" her friend laughed.
"Yeah," Alex smiled. "I realized I was making everything way too complicated. Sometimes the simplest approach works best - with coffee and with clients."
The truth is, people don't connect with fancy techniques or complicated questions. They connect when they feel heard and understood. And the quickest way to make someone feel understood is to ask questions that get to what they really care about - not just the surface facts, but their real frustrations and dreams.
Try these simple questions in your very next DM conversation. You might be surprised at how quickly someone goes from "just browsing" to booking a call with you.
Today’s Mega-Prompt: "DM Dialogue Converter: Connect Deeper, Book Faster"
You're getting replies, but are you asking the right questions to book the call?
Today, you'll find out exactly where your DMs go right… or stall… and how to fix it.
This mega-prompt helps paid members break down two real DM conversations (one that converted, one that didn’t) to uncover what created connection, and what missed the mark. Using the Question Ladder Method (Facts → Process → Feelings → Dreams), you’ll learn how to guide conversations deeper, faster, and more effectively toward a "yes."
Paid members get exclusive access to a mega-prompt that delivers:
✔ A full breakdown of what worked… and what didn’t… in your actual DMs
✔ A rewritten version of your failed conversation using the Question Ladder method
✔ Optimizations for your successful DM that could’ve booked the call faster
✔ A go-to question guide to build connection in every future conversation