Your doubts are lying to you...here's what they don't want you to know
I pushed the door open and walked in, after trying to calm my anxiety on the short walk to the conference room.
He was sitting there, perfectly put together, radiating the kind of confidence that makes you feel tiny in comparison.
The suit? Tailored.
The shoes? Shiny enough to see yourself in.
The resume? So thick it probably had a table of contents.
After we shook hands and exchanged pleasantries, I sat down, and tried to quiet the running commentary in my head:
Why would someone like this want to work for me?
How can I lead someone who has more experience than I do?
What if they see right through me?
Quickly, I quieted my overthinking and asked the first question:
“Tell me about how you adapt to challenges.” He stumbled.
“Can you give me an example of your problem-solving skills?” He gave the kind of answer I’d expect from a 20 year old.
“What’s your process for overcoming setbacks?” Vague, generic answers. The kind you get from a Google search on ‘how to answer interview questions’.
I started chuckling to myself in my head.
All the things I’d been intimidated by - the polished suit, the stacked resume, the air of superiority - had completely lost their power over me.
He wasn’t better than me. He wasn’t worse. He was just… a person. Someone who wanted a job. A job I had to offer.
He wasn’t in the room to evaluate me. He was in the room because he needed what I had.
For the first time, I stopped seeing myself as someone who had to prove they belonged. It wasn’t about me measuring up. It was about whether I could deliver what the other person needed.
Did you know that 63% of creators admit they feel intimidated by others’ polished success before they even get started?
You yourself, how often do you walk into a room - virtual or literal - and start comparing yourself?
Whether it’s a webinar you're hosting, an opportunity to pitch your work, or the content you create, is there always this nagging voice telling you:
• They’ve been doing this longer than I have.
• They’re more polished than I am.
• They’ve accomplished more than me.
Here’s the thing: none of that matters.
The power dynamic in any creator space doesn’t depend on who’s been doing it longer or who looks more polished. It depends on who’s solving the problem the best.
And if you’re in that room, across from that other person, it’s because they believe you have the right solution to theirs.
Here’s how to take ownership of your value and show up with confidence using my E.X.P.E.R.T. Method:
E - Examine the Assumptions
What stories are you telling yourself about the other person? About their experience? About yourself? Recognize when you’re filling in the gaps with your own doubts.
X - X-Ray the Needs
Shift your focus to what they want. Why are they in the room with you? What problem are they trying to solve? Focusing on their needs reframes the interaction.
P - Position Your Value
What makes you uniquely qualified to solve this problem? It might not be decades of experience—it might be your fresh perspective, creativity, or adaptability. Highlight that.
E - Eliminate the Distractions
Forget the suits, titles, or accolades. Those things are noise. What matters is whether you can solve their problem better than anyone else.
R - Reinforce the Connection
Show them how your value directly aligns with their needs. Be clear, direct, and confident about how you can deliver the solution they’re looking for.
T - Take Ownership of the Room
You’re not there to match their polish or experience. You’re there because you bring something they don’t have. Own that dynamic and lead with confidence.
Why This Works
We’re wired to overestimate what we see and underestimate what we bring. We compare people's surface-level polish to our own behind-the-scenes struggles, creating a false narrative that their confidence or experience automatically outweighs our value.
But in any interaction, what actually matters isn’t how you stack up against appearances - it’s how well you align with what’s needed.
When you focus on solving their problem instead of proving yourself, everything changes.
You flip the dynamic, making it less about whether you’re “good enough” and more about whether you’re the right fit for their needs.
Here’s What You’ll Get Out of It
• Clarity on Your Value: Stop second-guessing yourself and start focusing on what you uniquely bring to the table.
• Confidence in Any Room: Shift from intimidation to owning your space, no matter who’s in the room.
• Stronger Connections: Build trust by focusing on alignment and authenticity, not comparison.
“They didn’t ask you to prove you’re enough - they came to you because you ARE enough.”
Your Turn
Think back to the last time you felt outmatched compared to other creators in your space. Use these questions to reframe that experience:
1. What assumptions did you make?
Were you telling yourself a story about the other person’s confidence or experience?
2. What did they actually need from you?
Why were they in that room with you? Consuming your content? In your inbox? What problem did they believe you could solve?
3. What unique value did you bring?
What skill, perspective, or insight did you offer that no one else could?
4. How can you flip the story?
Instead of asking, Do I measure up?, ask, How can I deliver the solution they need?
The next time you walk into a room and start to compare yourself, remember this:
You’re not there to prove your worth.
You’re there because they believe you’re the answer to what they need.
They believe in you. Maybe you should too.