You’re warming them up too much - and it’s costing you sales
I wasn’t even looking for a new client.
It was just another Tuesday, another routine day of content, coaching calls, and deep work.
Then my DMs lit up.
“I’ve been following you for a while. Love your work.”
The name was familiar. He’d been in my comments, sharing my posts, responding to my emails for months.
A warm lead.
The kind of person who was supposed to be an easy sale.
He wanted to talk about hiring me for a project.
I checked my calendar.
A sales call with someone who already knew me? Who had already engaged with my content for months?
This was about to be a layup.
We jumped on a call.
I walked him through my process. Answered his questions. Gave him the clarity he needed to make a decision.
At the end, he exhaled.
“This sounds amazing. I just need a little more time to think it over.”
No problem, right? He was warm. He trusted me. He’d been in my world for months.
A week later, I followed up.
No response.
Another week.
Nothing.
Then, two weeks later, I opened 𝕏 and saw his latest post:
"Excited to be working with [another creator] on this project!"
I stared at the screen.
The guy who had been warming up for months - the guy I thought was a sure thing -had hired someone else.
Not because they were better.
Not because they were cheaper.
Because they made him decide faster.
The Nurturing Trap That’s Killing Your Sales
Most people think the key to selling is a long, slow buildup.
You post value. You engage. You nurture. You build trust.
And one day, maybe they’ll buy.
But that’s the mistake.
People don’t buy because they know, like, and trust you. They buy because they believe you can solve their problem.
The more time you spend “warming them up,” the more likely you are to attract people who need convincing - not people who are already sold.
When I walked away from that deal, I stopped wasting energy on trying to win business.
Instead, I started positioning my offers for the people who already knew what they needed.
And my entire business changed.
Here’s What To Do Instead
If you’re tired of nurturing forever with little to show for it, try this:
1️⃣ Filter Harder. Stop trying to bring everyone closer - spend more time repelling the wrong people. The best sales process isn’t convincing; it’s filtering.
2️⃣ Make the Ask Sooner. Most people wait too long to sell. If someone is interested, don’t leave them in a holding pattern. Make the offer.
3️⃣ Trust That the Right People Will Move. People don’t hesitate on what they truly want. If they do, they need more clarity - not more nurturing.
Selling isn’t about leading people eventually to a decision. It’s about creating clarity so they can make it now.
Your Turn
Step 1: Write down a real problem your audience has - the kind that keeps them awake at night. Be specific. Not “grow their business,” but “struggling to convert leads into paying customers.”
Step 2: Write two sales messages:
The Long Game – Start from scratch and build a nurturing sequence. Break it into multiple touchpoints:
Day 1: Empathy-driven story (show them you get it).
Day 3: Value drop (give them a tool or insight).
Day 5: Authority signal (proof of results).
Day 7+: Direct offer.
The Instant Decision – Cut the warm-up. Assume they already feel the pain and want a solution. Write a direct offer that forces a yes/no decision now.
Step 3: Compare the two. Which one feels like it would convert faster? Which one removes more hesitation?
Step 4: Put them to the test. Run both as emails, posts, or DMs. Track responses.
Step 5: Analyze why one outperformed the other. Was it speed? Clarity? Urgency?
Because the best sales message isn’t just about timing - it’s about certainty.
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